May came in like a Lamb, Left Like a Lion

May began so wonderfully on May 2nd when Mary, Kevin, Liz, Chris and I headed to Sarasota, the most beautiful beach I've ever seen. We came back on May 9, planning to hold some kind of memorial for Kathy's birthday on May 23, as requested by her kids.

For the next few weeks I worked frantically printing out 150 pictures, as Mary, Susie and my Granddaughter, Anna made three scrapbooks for Kathy's husband David and her two daughters to share with young David. What a job and how hard it was to relive all those moments in pictures. We planned and executed a dinner for the whole family and presented them with the scrapbooks after we ate.

I also found out that Susie (Kathy's daughter) was going to give me a Great-Grandchild which was so bittersweet, as Kathy would have been so thrilled. If only ..

We also planned and carried out a surprise 50th birthday party for my Sue. She may have suspected something, but never in a million years did she know her daughter Jennie and her son were coming in too, along with Jennie's three month old baby, Sue's first Grandchild. More printing of family pictures for posters for Sue. I blew up a big picture of Sue which we cut out and pasted on paper plates, attached a craft stick to the back for everyone to be wearing Sue's face as she arrived. Kinda scary to see all the Sues in our back yard.

And then . . . I had my CT scan and mammogram. I needed to have an ultrasound on my right breast, but it showed nothing wrong nor did the CT scan see any sign of cancer, just scar tissue from the radiation. However, since a week ago last Thursday, the pain in my back and left breast are literally breathtaking when I move my arm to pick up something or lean over to pick up something or just to put on my shoes.

Ed (my son, the doctor) gave me some pain patches to use, as I can only take extra strength Tylenol, and I tried them, but got nauseated and my eyes got all squiggly, so forget the patch. I get a bone scan on Monday. In the midst of all that, Martha and Joe bought a house and are moving today. I will miss them a lot, but am so happy for them. They lived here since 2002. It will be so good for them. As for how Chris and I will manage, only time will tell. We are supposed to go out in fifteen minutes to celebrate Mary's birthday, but had to go upstairs to get Chris, only to find out she didn't answer me because she was taking her hour and a half shower. It's things like that which will drive me bonkers.

Anna and her boyfriend and two dogs have moved back to Oklahoma. I miss them too.
We went from seven adults and two dogs living here to just Chris and me and Sue who is only here on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday night. Mary is so worried, but I don't think she needs to worry (yet). I'm a tough old broad (wait, did I just say OLD???)

Anyway, that's what's been happening in my corner of the earth. I keep reading my favorite blogs from my favorite people, Kim, Sandy, Bobbi, my daughter, Liz and my Granddaughter, Karen, so don't think I've forgotten any of you. This is the first day I'm trying to get back to some semblance of a normal life.

I know this is way too long and not a very funny blog, but it does explain why you haven't heard from me in a long while. I miss you all so very much. Hopefully, I'll see you all this month. I'll let you know.

Special memories

I had forgotten about this event until my granddaughter Elizabeth posted it on Facebook.

It all began when my son and I went to an estate sale a few months before Christmas.
My eyes were immediately drawn to a table full of vintage hats and in one of those brilliant flashes I so seldom get, a voice began whispering in my head, "Christmas presents, Christmas presents". The prices ranged from two dollars a hat to five dollars for the ones with feathers and veils.

It was late in the afternoon and few people were still there, so I approached the salesperson running the sale and asked, "Would you sell all the old hats for $5.00?"
"It's a deal", she sighed, probably thinking I was crazy for wanting them.

I was now on a mission and pursued it with a passion. Garage sales were perfect places to purchase prom and bridesmaid dresses, some as cheap as two dollars. junk jewelry, white gloves, some full-length gloves and even a cheap wedding gown to go with two others I had acquired, along with a veil.

Working furiously, I cut off hems, using the cut-off material for capes and sewed the hems of the dress-ups so they wouldn't drag on the floor, visited the dollar store for earrings and more jewelry, collected my old high heels and was almost ready for Christmas. I bought under-the-bed boxes for the five girls and tissue-wrapped three outfits apiece, complete with white gloves, necklaces, earrings and high heels and those vintage hats, Christmas-wrapped their boxes and then . . . the doubts set in. Would they think it was a dumb present, as that was all they were going to get from me?

Well, when they opened their boxes, the squeals of delight made the boys look on in envy and I wished I had done the same for the younger boys. The entire week everyone was here, all we heard was the clopping of heels and no sight of them until they were forced to come down to eat dinner. It was the most memorable Christmas present they ever got and if you asked them about their favorite present, they would always say, "Oh, the year Grandma made us those outfits".

Second Weddings are more fun

I had the pleasure of attending my son's second marriage to his wife of 25 years at the church they attend, as they renewed their wedding vows. It was a big surprise to Karen, as she had no idea he planned to do this. His best man was there as was Karen's maid of honor.

At the appropriate time, Greg asked everyone to go to the chapel and turned to Karen, held up a bread wrapper twisted into the shape of a ring and announced to one and all, "This is the original ring I gave to Karen when I first proposed".

This was my son who always seemed to be a real Red Neck, arguing about anything and everything, just to get his dad riled up. He was a real character. Somehow, he grew up and became a caring, loving individual, planning this charming ceremony for his wife.

Their first wedding was not as charming as this one, since he fainted while getting married the first time. We watched in horror as we saw his legs start to wobble and he turned deadly white. Just as I turned to tell my husband, "watch Greg, I think he's going to fall", down he went, out cold, and was carried off the altar while Karen looked on aghast. Ten minutes later, he was back and the wedding ceremony proceeded as usual.

You can imagine all the comments at his twenty-fifth exchange of vows. Being an old pro by now, he breezed through this one. I think everyone who has been married that long should have a "renewal of vows" party. I wish Ed and I had done the same thing, but we did have a fantastic twenty-fifth surprise party thrown by my kids.

Spring cleaning the easy way - Who Knew?

I am one lucky Grandma. My Grand-daughter Katie was kind enough to offer to come over to help me by cleaning my room. It was an amazing transformation, which took two days to accomplish. I swear, I never knew I could accumulate so much junk.

Along with the junk, there was a thick coating of dust over everything she touched. My bookcase is now lighter by twenty-four books and two inches of dust. Poor Katie was sneezing constantly. The second day, the windows were opened wide immediately. She's a quick learner, that one. After hanging some pictures and rearranging some things, my bedroom now looks like a Better Homes and Garden room.

Today, she came over to clean out the stuff under my bed, as I'm getting a new box spring Tuesday. Yikes! Two massive under-the-bed boxes filled with summer clothes and three boxes of pictures later, my room is now spic and span.

If I can get her over here for another few days, I can probably coerce her into doing my whole downstairs.

Movies and More Than I Bargained for

Sometimes just going to a movie is worse than the movie itself. Mart, Chris and I went to the Wherenberg theatre last week. While waiting in the lobby for them to get the tickets, I noticed tables were set up for children to get fingerprinted for the kids' ID program. There were several people dressed in costumes, I guess to make the kids feel like it was a fun activity.

Waiting patiently for Mart and Chris, I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see this old geezer, dressed as a baby, only inches from my face. In a conspirator's whisper, he took my hand and said, "I'll bet you would like some candy". With that, he dumped a fistful of candy in my hand. "No, thank you, but I don't eat candy", I said rather frostily. "Give it up for Lent did you?", he asked. "Yes" was my short reply. "Well you are a good Catholic woman and you sure are darn cute", he responded.

Oh my dear sweet heaven, not only was I being bribed with a fistful of candy, but this guy dressed as a baby was hitting on me.

I saw with relief that Mart and Chris were coming in with the tickets and as we made our way to the ticket taker, "Baby" rushed over again and leaned over and tried to take my hand in his and said, "You really are darn cute".

If I ever hear the phrase again "Like taking candy from a baby" it will forever remind me of this episode. What movie could possibly compare with this?

Blogspot101

If anyone can mess up a blog, I can. The last post I did, I changed my prim picture to what I thought was my original picture "mom in cap", but when I posted it and "viewed blog", much to my horror and chagrin, my original picture was about a gazillion sizes too big and covered the entire top half of what I wrote.

Not only was my face endeavoring to eat the entire post in one big gulp, but it showed every blemish, flaw and unsightly feature of my face, up close and personal. So I did what any self-respecting blogger would do, I deleted the entire post forever. So my "memories are made of this" no longer exists and if I try (and I did try 4 times to find it) apparently I no longer existed either!

So to my dear granddaughters who reminded me that they had taken me to a show and spent the evening with me just a few nights before I complained about being lonely, I do apologize. And to those who were confused about my picture being the same instead of a new one, I'm sorry. I will go back and study Blogspot101 yet again.

A more dignified image, but not more fun

I was inspired to change my profile somewhat by a fellow blogger's changes in her blog. But I found that I look too dignified and anyone who knows me, would never call me that. Besides, I look so old! Who is that silver-haired stranger?

I plan to change my picture back whenever I get time, but gathering information together for the "TL" (tax lady) is a chore, with no one helping me to get everything together. Thank goodness I have Quicken or I'd never get my taxes done.

Mary and Kevin will be back tomorrow, thank goodness. I have really been in a funk since they left. For seven people living here, I might as well be on a desert island. When Joe is off work, I never lay eyes on either one of them. Everyone is working except Chris who has the Hannah Montana show memorized word for word in case she ever has a test to become an understudy. I'm pretty much on my own every day and most nights.

I know I shouldn't complain though, especially with Spring coming. I can hardly wait. It's my favorite time of year with days getting lighter and vacation to FL coming up. When taxes are done I'll feel a lot better. For some reason, I really dislike giving so much money to the government, but on the other hand I have enough to pay my taxes and still keep my home.

Now, where did I put that original picture?

Travailin' to Bucyrus

Did I just say "Travailin?" What a slip of the tongue, but too true. February 17, C and I arrived at the airport at 2:10 for a flight to Bucyrus which was departing at 3:35. Plenty of time, I assumed, even going through security and checking our bags would give us an hour and 20 minutes.

I remove my cape, shoes, jacket, cell phone and blue tooth and deposit them in the gray tray. I reach for my carry-on and add that to the tray. I look back to see how C is faring, only to see her standing there, apparently fascinated with the shedding of all the "stuff" I have. "Chris take off your shoes, your purse, your jacket and sweater and put them in the bin", I growled. Yes, I growled at her.

She tried slipping off her coat while wearing her purse, but finally figured that out, removed her purse from over her shoulder, and began working on getting shoes, sweater, jacket, and her wallet ready and stood there and held them as if someone was going to steal them. "Put them in the bin", I told her as she gazed around. By this time, there are three people ahead of her.

I was being wheeled through security to be patted down and finally see Chris ready to go through security. "May I look in your bag?" the security guy asked. "I guess so", Chris meekly responded. He opened the bag and pulled out a 12 oz. bottle of shampoo. "What's this?. he asked. "My shampoo", she replied. "You can't carry a bottle that size on board". "It's for my scalp, a special shampoo", said Chris tearfully. "Well, I have to test it" and he proceeded to pour some out and take it over to be be scanned.

Now it's 2:40. I am sitting waiting, no shoes on, with all my belongings in a bin and finally hear him say, "Okay, you can go now". Chris picks up her suitcase and everything promptly falls out, as Mr. Security didn't zip her bag closed and Chris didn't check. Arggh! Some kind people helped her repack her carry-on and finally we get all our belongings in one spot. I get my shoes on, grab my cape, put on my jacket, retrieve my cell phone and blue tooth and Chris has on one shoe. By the time she is ready and has tied my shoes, it is 2:55. "Hurry, Chris we have to check in", I tell her. "But I haven't eaten all day", she whined. I ignore her and keep going to the check-in desk. We have our boarding passes, but need a pre-boarding pass and must get my wheelchair checked in. I also need to use a bathroom by this time.

Of course it's the last gate we are going to. Chris gets me down to the gate to preboard, but has spied a bagel place on the way to the gate. "Chris, we don't have time", I say. It's only 3:10 and I'll run", she says. She leaves her carry-on, my cane, my carry-on and cape and takes off . . . and now people are disembarking and the Flight Attendant is telling people to start lining up . . . and no Chris!

Now the first person is pre-boarding, and I look at all our belongings and think "There is no way I can do this!" Ah, there's Chris coming. Oh, wait she stopped, despite my beckoning her to run. And what's that she's eating? A blueberry muffin? "Chris", I yell in exasparation, "Put that away until we get on the plane".

Stuffing the muffin into my carry-on, she finally manages to get our stuff, just in time for us to pre-board. It took her 10 minutes to get us buckled in at which time they were already taking off. My heart is finally returning to normal and then Chris says, "Can I have my muffin now"? I fish my bag out with my feet, get it open and, big mistake, hand her the muffin. It took her 45 minutes to pick it apart, spilling crumbs every time she picked at it. So much more happened, but the worst for me was when I turned on my Kindle to read my new downloaded book, it said it needed to be charged. I read Sky Miles the rest of the trip and tried to pretend I didn't know the woman sitting next to me. I hope Mary and Kevin have a great flight to Hawaii!

Too cold to go out, too lazy to do taxes

Ever have one of those days when useless bits of information swim to the surface of your brain and refuse to dislodge? It was too cold to go out and I was too strung out to do my taxes, so I began to clean up emails (1074 of them) and noticed how much useless flotsam I was convinced I needed. For instance, the Julian calendar date for my birthday (July 29, 1930) is 2426186.5. Why would anyone in their right mind think this was worth saving?

Or this tidbit: you know when you try to pull some aluminum foil or saran wrap out of the box and the roll pops out -- On the end of the box it says, “Press here to lock end”.
Right there on the end of the box is a tab to lock the roll in place.
How long has this little locking tab been there? Now I ask you, how often am I even going to pull some aluminum foil out of a box? And more importantly, who cares?

I have so many hints, tips and little known cures saved for my children on my computer that they will know I was declining rapidly the last 1074 emails and they were unaware of it until I posted it today. I am going to sort my emails by "last" first, close my eyes and hit "Delete all" on each page until I am down to a manageable 100 or so. Since they date back to 2004, if I deleted anything important, I imagine it won't matter any more.

My husband always said, "I've never thrown away anything I thought was important, until I threw something away and lived to regret it.

On to the email deletion process, can taxes be far behind?

Cabin Fever 101

Snow is beautiful, but enough already! I had to cancel two appointments since it all began. I had an appointment to get my jaw X-rayed two days ago, due to a pain in my jaw and ear. As luck would have it, the machine was broken, or someone didn't know how to work it, so the conversation went something like this . . . ."Hmm", said Mr. Techie, "The machine won't move for me". "Just a minute while I check something". He was gone about five minutes and returned with another techie, who scratched his head and tried desparately to move the machine, all the while muttering, "The machine seems to be stuck".

He shook his head and left me with Mr. Techie number one. Mr. Techie then said, "we'll have to try something else". So he positioned my jaw against the machine that takes chest or back X-rays, with me hanging on to my cane precariously, as he positioned my jaw pressed up against the machine and proceded to tilt my chin up and down. Although I was unbalanced, he said, "Now hold it that way and I'll be right back". He tried oh so hard to get four X-rays, two with jaw open, two with my jaw closed.

After several doses of radiation, Mr. Techie then came from the safety of the glass he was behind, pondered for a moment and then said, "Hmm" "that didn't work". "I'll be right back". He left the room, came back and said, "We'll try it this way". "Lie on your stomach and I'll use the overhead X-ray machine", he said triumphantly. "Did you notice I had a stroke and can't lie on my stomach?", I responded. "Hmm", he said nervously, "Maybe you should just come back another day when the machine is working". "Of course, you have to register again, but it would really be better for you to do that". Mr. Techie is getting smarter by the minute.

The Radiation department called yesterday to tell me the machine is working, but then added, "I don't think you should come in today, do you?" First smart thing they said.

When the music died

I haven't written anything for a long while; first, I was too busy planning a Christmas surprise for my kids and then the day after Christmas there were no words to describe what was locked in my heart.

Mary broke the spell with her great blog and I decided it was time to write again, and maybe sharing with all of you will help dispel some of the pain.

Christmas Day was wonderful for all of us as my kids learned "This Buds For You" was really true, as they each got a nice check when I had to cash in my Bud stock when Bud became InBev.

As for me, I got a new bannister and an airline ticket to anywhere when the rest of my Christmas wishes are granted. I asked to have the inside painted and furniture moved out so I could get some much needed carpet installed. Being very canny and smart, the kids all agreed I needed to be gone when they worked their magic.

Christmas night, Kathy headed to her sister-in-law's brother's house, where he greeted her with his own hat creation. Kathy was delighted and they had a fantastic time singing Karaoke songs all evening.

Back at home Kathy's daughter, Beth downloaded songs for her on the new iPod Kathy got for Christmas. Kathy sang and danced to Mama Mia" until almost midnight, went to bed and never again would wake up. They said it was a heart attack.

How I wish I could give her a hug once more. I take comfort in the knowledge that she died exactly as she wanted - in her sleep, peacefully dreaming of Christmas.

CATS I'VE KNOWN

A Cat by Any Other Name
When we moved into our first home, a wild cat obviously recognizing a new food chain, began hanging around. We couldn’t get near her but judging by her, pardon the pun, hangdog expression, she was sorely in need of food.
As any family with kids will tell you, it was never a question of “Can we feed her?“, but rather “How soon can you get to the store“? So began the saga of “Mama” cat. No matter how much we stuffed her with food, she resisted every effort to let anyone pet her, instead making sure no one was nearby to see her consume her free handouts.
As the days got cold, it soon became clear that “Mama” at one time in her past, had been “friendlier” than she was now and was going to have kittens, hence her ferocious appetite.
Between our back steps and the house, there was just enough space to drop a tennis ball and that’s where “Mama” decided to drop her four kittens. There was no doubt they would freeze if we didn’t help her, so with much spitting, scratching and clawing from the ungrateful wretch, we successfully transferred the family to our basement where we had made a bed for her.
She was terrified, as she had never been inside before, and would have bolted at once if not for her motherly instincts. Of course, the kittens all were given names and unlike their mother, were very happy to have a warm place to stay. “Mama” was greatly relieved when they were all allowed outside again.
One of the kittens was named George who was very playful and frisky. Seven months had passed and we found out just how frisky George was, as “George” had a litter of five which made nine cats! To make matters worse, poor dumb playgirl “Georgette” had no clue about “birthin’ no babies”, so “Mama” had to do all the dirty work and nurse the newborns besides. We were finally able to spread the kitten wealth, which just left “Mama” to contend with, who was still no friendlier than when she first came into our lives.
We used to have an egg man who delivered eggs every week and, out of desperation, asked him if he wanted “Mama” cat. “Sure”, he said, “the farm can always use a good mouser”. Arrangements were made and we put “Mama”, spitting, snarling and screaming, in a box to take her to the farm, an hour away.
Poor Paul, holding the box on his lap, had to contend with a clawing arm every few minutes as “Mama” tried to escape. After a harrowing trip and the awful stench of cat pervading the car, we finally arrived with frayed nerves, Paul’s arms scratched beyond belief, and a sense of relief from Ed and me.

Cooking 101

I decided to fix dinner for our family today and thanks to Kathy, Chris and my supervision, we did it! I am exhausted and realize for the first time since my stroke that I simply can't cook without help. What a blow.

With all three of us working busily, it still took three hours to assemble this meal and get it in the oven. We did double the recipe so we can have a second meal at a later time. The most remarkable thing about it though, was that too many cooks did not "spoil the broth" as the saying goes.

I suppose I will try to help more with cooking dinner, as long as long-suffering Chris will help me with it. Cooking was never my forte, but I love to try out new recipes. Hopefully, everyone will like this one, because we have another complete meal in the freezer.

Back in the "What's for dinner?" days, I made a meat loaf one evening, and while it was okay, it tasted a little funny. Ed said, "Did you do something different with the meat loaf"? Much to my chagrin, it turned out that what I thought was groumd beef was ground pork sausage. And that was just one of my more unevenful meals. On second thought, maybe I won't cook any more meals.

Election of a President

What a thrilling event last night, as we the people came together to elect Barack Obama as our next President. Regardless of who you wanted for the highest office in America, we were united as soon as the results were announced. I hope everyone will pray for him and his family as he meets the tough challenges he is facing with knowledge and courage.

Some of his decisions will be unpopular for many of us, but for our country to recover it's self-esteem, he will have to make some unpleasant choices. We can only pray that he will make our country stronger, wiser and better off economically than it has been in a very long time. Now is the time to stand up and support Barack Obama.

THE WHITE DRESS

The White Dress
Twenty years or so ago, it was quite customary to wear a long dress for special occasions. Several of my girls and I were window shopping because it was something I loved to do, even though we rarely bought anything except clothes for school.
At one of the department stores, I happened to glance over at the dresses as we browsed, and my breath caught in my throat as I saw this beautiful, long dress, pure white with little pearl buttons that traveled the whole length of the dress.
My girls saw my expression and chorused, “Try it on, try it on”. I told them it was silly, but in my heart I knew I had to try it on just to see how it would look on me. It was a size 10, (was I ever that size?) and as I slipped it on, I became Cinderella instantly. It encircled me in a beautiful haze as it fell in soft folds around me.
Oh, what a special dress it was. But then reality set in, as the price tag read “One Hundred dollars“! Ed was working three jobs as it was, the kids all needed clothes, Christmas was coming soon, and my priorities were clear. I honestly did not even obsess over it, and we went on to finish shopping before we headed home.
I never thought about “The Dress” again. Fast forward to Christmas Day. There were Christmas wrappings and ribbons strewn across the floor, when the kids came in carrying a big box and presented it to me with silly grins. “Open it”, they said, “It’s for you”.
And there, nestled in yards of white tissue paper, was “The Dress”. I cried. Even though I knew they had enlisted Ed’s help in buying it, I was overwhelmed at their generous outpouring of love.
I wore it on New Year’s Eve and then again to a St. Valentine’s dance at our parish. And I must have glowed, because perfect strangers came up to me to tell me how beautiful I looked and inevitably asked, “Where did you get that dress?”
Although there were other memorable gifts over the years, this one memory will always be one of my most favorite.

The Dining Room Chronicles

THE DINING ROOM CHRONICLES
Almost every evening, my daughter Mary and her better half, Kevin come over to keep me on my toes and my brain active, by playing card games, scrabble or dominos with Martha, Joe and sometimes Chris. Some of our conversations have bordered on the ludicrous, so Mary has begun taking pen to paper to save them for posterity.
That reminded me of a dinner conversation many years ago. My children invariably would get into arguments at the dinner table, perhaps to create a diversion so they could feed peas to the dog while I tried to keep the peace.
To let them hear how horrid they actually sounded, I had a brilliant idea and planted a tape recorder under the dining room table and just let them be their usual quarrelsome, noisy selves. “That will show them“, I thought.
After dinner, I retrieved the tape and told them, “Listen to this, I am going to teach you a lesson“, and smugly pushed the play button.. “Just hear how you sound when you fight“, I admonished them. As I self-righteously played it back to them, there was a thunderous noise which swelled to a crescendo, sounding like a jet taking off at close range. Interspersed between the babble and the jet taking off, my sickening sweet voice could be heard loud and clear, “Please pass the butter, Paul” and “Please use your napkin, honey”. More babble and then my syrupy voice again, “So what did you do in school today Eddie”? “Please use your fork, honey”.
By that time the kids and I were laughing uncontrollably. One of the kids summed it up beautifully, “We learned a lesson alright, mom”. “Never put the tape recorder under your chair“. and, “You’re a terrible actress, but you sure are funny”.

I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes
Ed made it a habit to eat lunch at home every day, as he worked less than a mile from our house. One day in particular, I called and asked if he would stop at the store and bring something home for me to cook for our dinner.
In a disgruntled voice, he responded, “You don’t have to fix meat and potatoes every night, you know”. Stung by his obvious displeasure, I asked “What would you suggest, as we have no eggs, no meat, and no cheese in the house“. “If you would use your imagination once in a while, you should be able to come up with something that doesn’t involve my going to the store on my lunch hour”, he retorted.
When he finally came home, he tossed a roast on the table and with a disgusted “Here’s your meat”, walked out and went back to work.
“Now that is so unfair! We only have one car, I have six hungry kids at home”, I fumed to myself. “Well, I’ll show him”, “He’ll see my imagination at work.” So I fixed a beef stew for dinner, set the table and made sure to have the plates all ready with the stew already on the plates.
On Ed’s plate, however, I had artistically arranged stalks of celery, thinly sliced carrots, and an artful stack of pickled beets in the middle of his plate, and for good measure, some parsley as a garnish.
Eddie said, “Hey, how come dad gets all the good stuff and we have to eat this”? I have to admit it was a colorful, appetizing-looking dish.
A few minutes later, Ed walked in, looked at the kids plates filled with stew, looked at his colorful plate, smothered his laughter and without cracking a smile, he nonchalantly said, “See, I told you if you used your imagination you could come up with something different”.
“Listen Buster, if even one of our neighbors had some brandy, I told him, “I would have set your plate on fire“! “Very clever, Sweetie, very clever”, he said as he helped himself to the stew.

I heard it on the radio
When Kathy was barely two, I told Ed that there was a talking dog on Art Linkletter’s show that morning. “Yeah, riiight”, he laughed. “No, really, it’s true”.
“Kathy, tell daddy what the doggy said on the radio this morning”, I urged. Fully expecting her to tell him that the doggy said, “Mama” and “Hello”, “I love you” not perfectly, but understandable, Kathy looked at me quizzically. “You remember, I coached, “What did that funny doggy say”? “I member now“, she proudly exclaimed, “The doggy said, “Bow Wow”.

Smarter kids today?

When my kids were all fairly young, my daughter, Margaret was definitely "Miss Preppy". She wanted Izod or nothing. No JCPenny for her. So I told her, "I'll pay for what a shirt would cost at JCP and if you want IZOD, you pay the difference".


She had a pair of worn out socks which sported the famous alligator on them, and thinking I had a brilliant idea said, "Hey, we can take the alligator off your socks and put it on one of your plain shirts and no one will know the difference". With a scathing look that could have burned a hole in me from ten feet away she retorted, "But I would know"!


I was reminded of this because my son was telling me about a kid who works for him who bought a bottle of water because he liked the waterfall on the bottle. The kid said "It only cost $1.59". "Are you kidding me, you paid $1.59 for that?" Defending himself, the kid said, "But it has no transfats and no sugar". Paul told the kid, "It's w a t e r, you know, W A T E R"!

A new Blog in Town

I finally took the plunge and joined the bloggers of America. I decided that since the movie "The Lucky Ones" has finally arrived in theatres, I would probably be famous because I was in the movie. Alas, if you blinked just as Martha and my Grand-daughter appeared front and center with Tim Robbins, you missed the top of my head. Alas, fame is so fleeting.